RFID-iculous

Being a boring white person, I'm occasionally inclined to shop at the Gap or one of their affiliated businesses, Old Navy (Fat Gap) and Banana Republic (Monochromatic Thin Expensive Gap). And you probably haven't notices of late that the once-great Gap corporation has instituted the use of RFID tags to help with inventory and theft reduction. You probably haven't noticed, because the denim-clad drone behind the counter neglected to mention it. Now this shouldn't be a problem in most instances, so long as the only business you ever go into wearing these RFID-tagged clothes is the Gap. If you're a functional bipedal human being, however, you may be inclined to enter some other business wearing your new clothes. This is where a problem is posed.

Walking around Kansas City's Country Club Plaza last weekend wearing my new Old Navy Jeans (there was a sale at Fat Gap, so sue me), I set off almost every electronic theft reduction gateway I went through. In a shopping Mecca like the Plaza, that's about every 15 feet. Vexed, flustered and perplexed, it wasn't until setting off the alarm walking into Urban Outfitters that the culprit was determined. The bespectacled emo retail monkey restocking the ironic t-shirts asked if I'd recently purchased any of my outfit from the Gap.

"Yeah. The jeans. Old Navy, actually," I said it a little shamefully. Fat Gap always brings a defeatist tone to my voice. It's like admitting that you'll never be like the 30 inch wasted mannequins in the window at Thin Gap.

"Ah," he muttered, "they've been RFID tag crazy over there. Come on in."

And I did go in, but I didn't like spending the weekend feeling like mutant, setting off alarms everywhere I went. So an open letter to Gap, Inc.: How about you tell people when they check out that there's a huge fucking RFID tag hidden down the leg of their jeans or up the seam of their sweater, since once you finally do find this tag it reads "Remove before washing or wearing." I'm sorry, but I don't tend to inspect new clothing with that level of Sherlock Holmes style scrutiny. Maybe it's a personal flaw, but I'm inclined to believe that most men don't turn their jeans inside out prior to wearing. So how about just a little nod to the tag between the announcement of the total and the offer to open a Gap card account? Or here's a crazy idea, if there isn't a line, maybe go ahead and offer to cut them out on the spot, thus alleviating such hassles. That'd be nice.

Anyhoo... there's a whole bunch of hubub on the net about RFID tags being the mark of the beast and whatnot. You can read about it here or here or here.

That's all for today. I have unconfirmed promises from Matt and Smed that they'll be joining the fun soon. I hope so. Just having me and Mont ranting can get a little trying.